I left the service that night with a decision to turn a
new leaf. I've already decided to give Chidinma a call
as soon as I got home, about ending whatever we
had. That joy when I thought of finally being
liberated from the sex - oriented relationship with
Chidinma. "At last there is a way out", I thought
loudly to myself.
First thing the next morning I decided against giving
her a call instead I paid her a visit, to tell her my
decision. Gosh! She was so beautiful to look upon.
The real battle began; how can I tell her I want to
break up with her? How will I cope seeing her sad in
class or being with other guys so as to close the gap I
will leave? How will I be able to cope without her
succulent body?, how can I resist those lips? These
were the thoughts that kept going on inside of me.
Then a thought came to mind, why end the
relationship after all the good things and time we
have shared together, why not put on an adjustment
to the things we used to do, why not set rules and
standards to be strictly adhered to. Wow! It sounds
like a great idea. Infact it was nice. "It will definitely
work!" A voice from within said.
It was barly 2 weeks after that power packed
programme, I made a commitment, I have fallen
back to my vomit again.
My world was fallen, my life was tearing apart.
Depressed and having failed God and myself again, I
thought of ending my life since it was of no use as I
got tired of hoping on good and trying to change,
only to get worst by the day. That faithful day as I
was set to drink the portion that would hopefully take
my life, I thought of reading a passage from the Bible
to myself just as the executioners will do before firing
a criminal.
On opening the Bible, there was a marked out
passage in Romans 6;14-18
14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye
are not under the law, but under grace.
15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not
under the law, but under grace? God forbid.
16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves
servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey;
whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto
righteousness?
17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of
sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of
doctrine which was delivered you.
18 Being then made free from sin, ye became the
servants of righteousness.
Thank God I did go through the passage, then I
realised I made myself go through all I went through.
I made myself a servant to sin forsaking the counsel
of God. Then I realised I was always listening to
myself and not the knowledge of God's word. With
tears in my eyes I let down the portion and the idea of
taking my life and decide to fight the real enemy; SIN
and SELF.
Beloved, the battle against these S's cannot be won if
we don't die to our selfish desire as the good book
says; for he that is dead is freed from sin. Romans
6;7.
Dear, if you are in similar situation, if u are battling
with sin and self, you can only win this battle
against these foes by fervent prayers and studying
God's word where you see that grace can see you
through in life.
You can go through these scriptures to help you
enforce your victory in Christ over self and sin; 2 Cor
10; 3-5, Psalm 119;9-11, Col 3:5 - 10, 1Cor 9;27, Rom
13;12 and Prov 4;23.
Congrats! Because your Victory over self and sin is
sure!
Battle against self and sin
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