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I love my wife but....

    • 24 posts
    January 27, 2016 6:52 AM CET
    How can I help porn addiction, it's telling on my home. we hardly have time together because every spare time I spend it on porn site. The worst of it is that I am gradually loosing interest in Jeru trip. she seems to be suspecting and I don't want to loose my home. I still love my wife. please help
  • January 28, 2016 3:17 PM CET
    You are the one trying to pull down ur home ....why watching porn when you have a wife ? The time meant for ur wife is spent on porn site ? You don't need any help...you are the one to help urself by doing away with porn site simple!!....delete all the sites and pray along
    • 1 posts
    February 18, 2016 12:23 AM CET

    Hello brother,

     

    Pornography and self gratification [masturbation] are sins that so easily beset christians because of how our society has encouraged sex and immorality.  It is also very easy and cheap to get access to pornography material these days. You can carry it with you to just about anywhere, including the church for that matter.  I will tell you it is something I have also struggled with and God is helping me.  So I am speaking to you from the perspective of someone who has a pretty good idea of what is going on in your situation.  Let me give you this few facts before I tell you how to flee, because really need to flee. Here goes:

    1. YOU are not ALONE.  There are many other men and women who are in this bondage and are getting help.

    2. It is a SIN against three people, God, your wife and yourself.

    3. If you do not adress it, it would wreck your home, spiritual and personal life.  It is not a curse, it is an established fact.

    4. You must never get casual about it when you start experiencing victory.  Even if you do not view porn or masturbate for 10years, you must still not give room to the devil by thinking you are strong.

     

    Now you need to take these steps to deal with this habit:

    1. GET SERIOUS

     -  admit what you are doing is wrong. Never again rationalise why it is permissble to view pornography or masturbate

     -  Repent to God, and to your wife (this is hard but she needs to know because you have been cheating on her and she is actually going to be your battle partner and accountability partner in this matter for the rest of your life)

     -  Pray God helps her forgive you 

     - Get rid of every connection you have with anything that represents lust. Let me give you an example I am no longer on facebook, bbm, whatsapp, the browsers on my android phones are locked out (only my wife has the password so I cannot browse on them), The laptop I am using now cannot view porn because it is has Covenant Eyes software, as for tv, I am now restricted to mainly cartoons, soccer, news and a few other programs. It is crazy right? But my brother we need to enter heaven.

     - I will advise you also get an anti-porn software. I use convenant eyes.  I will recommend it too.  It blocks ut pornography on you devices and can send a weekly report to your accountability partner of your activities online.

      - This lis is not exhaustive but you need to do what  you have to do to separate yourself from sin.

    2. GET EDUCATED

     - You will not be free from pornography just because your pastor cast out the demons (Those demons will obey for only as long as you are with the pastor.  They will wait outside the church when you     come out for the slightest opportunity to continue where they stopped)

     - Now there are many things you need to know about pornography, its affect on your brain, your actions that lead up to the final sin, an accountability partner or group among wnd why it is important      to have one amongst other things

    3. GET ACCOUNTABLE

     -  You need to speak to someone that you will be accountable to. Probably your pastor, mentor or someoen of spiritual authority that can guide you.  You need to pray so GOd directs you on your              choice of accountability partner

    -  There is strength in your fellow brother.  

     - Continue to b prayerful. God is our only sure victory

     

    I will stop here but take these steps and go through the following links:

     

    http://wadeoradio.com/dealing-with-porn-pt-1-a-christian-mans-struggle-with-pornography/

     

    http://wadeoradio.com/lets-talk-porn-pt-2-4-steps-to-overcoming-pornography-addiction/?utm_campaign=your-brain-on-porn&utm_source=hs_automation&utm_medium=email&utm_content=3193316&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--0dpHK0eimFVCHfTtdbe4OLJeLiftSRGPShB_UTCeLg3PvthurjwYWlQj_4TdviMc9J8EkcYaGigusQsSGbbiIXURqQg&_hsmi=3193316

     

    http://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/08/01/a-cure-for-sexual-dysfunction-stop-using-porn/?utm_campaign=your-brain-on-porn&utm_source=hs_automation&utm_medium=email&utm_content=3193316&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-8U30py8fxe3bl7GtHKWsDPahV06_briWqVsR0oYkePLnorq1zqlygZ2l9lWD-VSVALaYQOnEU9ZgP-mec3HakoMDi_rQ&_hsmi=3193316

     

     

    Let me leave you with part of an email I received from one Luke Gilkerson of Covenant Eyes.

     

    'Jesus once said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (Matthew. 5:29). Don’t let Jesus’ use of hyperbole diminish the power of this statement: Jesus calls for radical amputation of the things that tempts us.

    Often we are tempted to believe we are stronger than we really are. We leave a few doors open believing we’ll be able to handle them. Instead we need to have the attitude of Job who made a covenant—a solemn promise—with his eyes not to look lustfully on anyone (Job 31:1).'

     

    Let us be strong for each other.  

    Shalom

     

     


    This post was edited by Ephraim at April 26, 2016 4:32 PM CEST
    • 24 posts
    February 18, 2016 11:59 AM CET
    Thank you so much Ephraim... This is life saving.
    • 73 posts
    April 25, 2016 4:08 PM CEST
    I earnestly pray for you my brother that God Himself will deliver you. You have to make up your mind once and for all to quit the deadly habbit. Thank God for bro Ephraim, He is indeed a God’s sent, kindly follow the steps he gave and please pray without season. You'll be fine with Pastor Dunamis as your guidance. Jesus will save you and you won't loose your lovely wife and home by God's special grace she'll forgive you. May the peace of the Lord remain with you in Jesus name. Amen.