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Its obvious there is still a measure of emotional atachment with this guy, But please do not let this cloud right judgement and divine direction. 5 years and he might feel marrrying you is a way to pay back and right hus wrong but thats not enough reasons to marry someone.
I believe just like everyman that you meet out there seek the face of the Lord sincerely and genuinely, God still leads his own people. Talk to your pastors to if you have one.
Above all God.