Yesterday, we began our discussion on the subject of love languages and how it is important you speak your spouses’ language.
Today, we will explore in brief, these languages one after the other.
1. Words of Affirmation:
These are verbal compliments or words of appreciation, which are powerful communication of love. For example,
"You look sharp in that suit"
"I really appreciate your washing the dishes tonight"
One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Some spouse feels better when they are appreciated and you need to understand that if you or your partner falls in this category. As singles, learn to choose your words rightly. Don't wait until you get married. Start speaking kindly and gracefully now!
You should learn to speak encouraging and humble words to your partner. Words are important! Don't use abusive words on your spouse. This will tear him/her down. Instead, tell them how great they are.
"Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life, and the talkative person will reap the consequences." Proverbs 18:21,TPT
2. Quality Time:
This entails giving someone your undivided attention. Your spouse may desire you to focus on him/her to give them your time and do things with them.
"Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other's eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person"
Don't be carried away with other things or thoughts when you are with your partner.
Maintain eye contact
Don't listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time.
Listen for feelings: ask yourself, "what emotion is my spouse experiencing?"
Observe body language
Refuse to interrupt
3. Receiving Gifts:
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "look, she/he was thinking of me".
You must be thinking of someone to give them a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn't matter whether it costs money or not. The important thing is that you thought of him/her.
Gifts are visual symbols of love. Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than others. That is why you need to understand your spouse's primary love language.
There is an intangible gift that sometimes speaks more loudly than a gift that can be held in one's hand. I call it the gift of self or the gift of presence; being there when your spouse needs you.
4. Acts of Service:
This entails doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please your spouse by serving him/her and express your love for your spouse by doing things for him/her. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes et cetera.
Women usually fall in this category, especially here in Africa, where men are usually not encouraged to help with house chores.
The last thing that should be a thing of concern to you with respect to your commitment to your spouse is what "somebody has to say/will say". Your focus is you, your spouse, and the family you are building. Family members' opinion about what you do or don't do in your home is their least concern.
If you give room to people, they will want you to live their opinion. Your life should not be the product of people's opinions but your decision.
5. Physical touch:
Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse.
As singles, you only need to understand this love language to help you relate better in marriage. Demanding for jeru trap and caressing each other before marriage is not love ooooo! It is lust and it is a SIN before God.
In conclusion, when you don't understand what someone is communicating to you, or when they fail to understand you either, there's going to be a misunderstanding.
And this is what happens to a lot of couples after a few months or a few years in marriage and it looks as though they never loved each other.
Know your love language and also understand your spouse's love language. This will also help you even in courtship.
Your marriage will succeed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I understand and speak my partners love language.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, give me more understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance". 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read the book under discussion.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
1 Cor 13
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