Gary Chapman is the author of the best-selling series of the "five (5) love languages". I'll be taking some excerpts from his book for our study today. You can also get the book for a better understanding.
Understanding your spouse's love language includes learning how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. This is not about having Illicit sex with a man or woman you are not married to. Prostitutes can probably testify to this. It is about understanding his/her emotional needs and how to respond positively to this end.
Often times, what a lot of folks call love is just mere feelings of infatuation or lust. I believe we will be able to gain some insight into the subject matter as we look at some points together.
Love is intentional. It is deliberate and not blind as the circular world always refer it to be. Love is active and alive. It also has its own languages.
The bible described the qualities and characteristics of love as;
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance". 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This also means that love is not impatient and unkind. Love never gives up.
There are so many confusions surrounding the word love. And the essence of this article is not an attempt to eliminate all confusion surrounding the word love, but we want to focus on that kind of love that is essential to our emotional health.
"Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially retarded."
We need to also understand the concept of "falling in love".
What does it mean to fall in love?
Most couples married with the feeling of being "in love." At the point when you meet someone whose physical characteristics and personality traits create enough electrical shock to trigger your "love alert" system. You begin the process of getting to know the person. The first step may be going on a date and spending much time together with your partner, on a quest to discover love. You want to know if what you feel is real or not.
Sometimes you may lose the tingles on the first date. When you discover that you guys are not compatible. Other times, however, the tingles are stronger after the first date. You then arrange for more time together.
The person who is "in love" has the illusion that his beloved is perfect. Even when other close relatives or friends can see the flaws in their partner but he/she can't.
To build a successful relationship/ marriage is beyond what you feel. It is more of what you know. And it takes God's help to have a deeper revelation and knowledge of what lies ahead. Don't be ignorant of what you are committing yourself to. It saddens my heart when I see men or women who seem to have little knowledge of their spouses, thereby, getting careless about their emotional needs too.
Everyone has the need for love. Therefore, every spouse should always look out for the interest of their partner to make things work out. And it should be a mutual effort.
"When your spouse's emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his/her highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and he feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and he/she will likely never reach his/her potential for good in the world"
Tomorrow, we will go deeper into this topic, exploring the love languages one after the other.
See you then.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I understand and speak my partners love language.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, give me more understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance". 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Read the book under discussion.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
1 Cor 13
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