You’re Not Hard to Love—You’re Just Carrying Too Much Pain
By Pastor Dunamis
Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Maybe I really am hard to love?”
It’s a quiet thought, often birthed from repeated heartbreak, emotional neglect, or relationships that made you feel like you had to apologize for your existence. But let me tell you something, boldly and without hesitation:
You are not hard to love. You are just carrying pain that’s asking to be healed.
Pain Changes the Way We Love—and Receive Love
Pain has a way of building walls we don’t even realize are there. You flinch at kindness. You overanalyze every message. You prepare for rejection before it even shows up. That doesn’t mean you're broken—it means you’ve been hurt.
Somewhere in your journey, you were made to feel like your emotions were a burden. Like your needs were too much. Like your tears were inconvenient.
So you learned to shrink yourself. To keep people at arm’s length. To sabotage good things before they get too close.
But that’s not the real you.
That’s the wounded you.
The defended you.
The version of you that’s still trying to feel safe.
You’re Not Too Much. You’re Just Too Guarded—For Good Reason.
Being guarded doesn’t make you complicated. It makes you cautious. And cautious people have a story.
Maybe you opened your heart too soon and were met with betrayal.
Maybe you trusted someone who used your vulnerability against you.
Or maybe you were never given a safe space to even feel growing up.
Whatever the reason, your pain doesn’t disqualify you from love—it reveals where love is most needed.
The Right People Will Not Run From Your Pain
Let’s be honest: healing is messy. Loving someone who’s healing can be hard. But the right kind of love won’t be scared of your scars. It won’t shame you for your triggers. It won’t pressure you to heal faster than you're ready. It will stay. It will walk with you. It will honor your pace.
And more importantly, God’s love never saw you as too much. His love sees the tears you hide, the battles you fight in silence, and the healing you desperately long for.
Give Yourself Permission to Heal
You don't need to “fix yourself” to be worthy of love. You need to give yourself permission to heal—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.
- Let therapy be your safe space to untangle the lies.
- Let prayer be your refuge to breathe again.
- Let a faith-based community remind you: you were never alone.
You’re not difficult.
You’re not broken.
You’re not too much.
You’re just healing. And healing takes time.
💬 Need a safe place to start?
This message is brought to you by Pastor Dunamis. If you're carrying emotional pain, struggling in love, or feeling unseen in your healing journey—help is available.
✨ Join our community, access faith-based therapy resources, and start your journey to healing at: