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Not talkng to her for 3days is too much (that sounds like her judgement for doing what u caught her with), but the devil is around the corner to just have a chance to venture into your marriage, sire.
She needs to be talked to. maybe you've not been talking to her often as you ought to that made her to find someone who will
If she's not doing all @Phyllis mentioned. You'll need to get over this. It's still communication (that you refuse to do) that will solve the issue on ground sir. (90%).